Welcome to the auditions page of Weddings can be fatal. Weddings can be fatal is a murder mystery written by Wes Imlay.

Our cast of characters… Mother of the bride. The head of the mob, an elegant but evil woman, is marrying her only brat and stubborn daughter. She’s unhappy with her daughter’s choice of “the no good” groom and would love for the wedding to be called off once and for all.

The bride is determined to go through with the wedding despite her mother’s objections and believes she has found the love of her life whom she is destined to be with.

The groom is a young man from a small town in North Carolina and seems to love his bride enough to put up with the dangers that come from marrying the only daughter of a crime boss.

The wedding planner, who can best be described as promiscuous and arrogant, is having a fling with the mob mom’s side kick, a thug who picks fights with everyone and believes he’s a one-man army. The two of them make a dynamic mixture that could explode if their secret is revealed.

Let’s not forget the priest, who is an opportunist that tries to make money however he can.

Then there is the wedding planner’s sister, a detective who seems to have a take-no-prisoners approach to law enforcement.

Someone dies, everyone is a suspect, who did it?? You will need to watch it till the end.

We are looking for a dedicated cast and crew that can commit to start filming once a week in mid September, for a duration of 6 -8 weeks. Location TBD in Orlando area. The selected characters will sign a contract to receive a % of this series net income and IMDB credits.

Below find the dialog for each character, make a video of yourself in character and upload it to Youtube or Vimeo. You can submit yourself to more than one role. Using the form at the bottom, please submit the video url (youtube/vimeo).

MOBSTER MOM – (ALICE SILVA) dialogue. 

FATHER MARIO: Of course there are no threats. (Points to Waldo) With all due respect Ms. Silva, why is this man even here? We are at a private tasting not a Senate hearing! From all the stories I’ve heard, this man is a psychopath!
ALICE: Not a psychopath exactly, more of a big jerk. I confess, he likes to threaten people a lot, but he gets the job done and that’s what I pay him for.
FATHER MARIO: He’s a madman! Crazy! Coocoojoo!
ALICE: Again, he’s not a madman. He’s a very arrogant, criminally irresponsible, massively dangerous tough guy. He’s like having every action movie hero cliché rolled into one!
FATHER MARIO: I’ll say it again, he is a madman! Crazy! Loco!
ALICE: You say ‘Po-tay-to’, ‘I say Po-tah-to’ Whateva!
FATHER MARIO: But Ms. Silva, the man is a complete tool! Haven’t you noticed how arrogant and single-minded he is? If you looked up ‘Dangerous’ in the dictionary you would find his picture!
ALICE: I know and that’s what makes him perfect as my Chief of Security. To keep me and my daughter safe I need an arrogant wannabe tough guy who thinks he’s some kind of one-man army. Pushing people up against walls and threatening them with his gun is just his way of doing business.
FATHER MARIO: You do realize how many times he’s threatened people with his gun, right? I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a sniper rifle hidden somewhere in that suit!
WALDO: I don’t know, sniper rifle at long range, somehow it lacks that personal touch.
ALICE: Stay out of this Black Jack!
FATHER MARIO: You don’t seem to realize how dangerous he is. The last thing I want is to have to explain to the police why he snapped. It’s not good for my image!
ALICE: (Walks to Waldo takes his cell phone, goes back to Father Mario and presses buttons) Oh REALLY? Not good for your IMAGE? Check your bank account; I’m sure that’ll put your mind at ease.
FATHER MARIO: I won’t insult you by checking that right now. How generous was your contribution?
ALICE: I’ll just say that after you’re done in Bora Bora you can go to Australia and visit the orphanages there.

WEDDING PLANNER –  (TONYA BRIGHT) & THUG SIDE KICK – (WALDO ‘BLACK JACK’ BROWNING) dialogue. 

TONYA: (Showing her toughness) I have a business to run and that means I don’t have to give my full attention and resources to putting together a wedding for a couple that may not even make it a year.
WALDO: You have a very cynical look on love.
TONYA: No, I’m just being realistic about it. Take this wedding; you really think the son of a couple of a small town business owner can survive being married to the daughter of a crime boss?
WALDO: What if? (Thinks about it then shakes his head) Nah, it would never work.
TONYA: Exactly! Maybe I am a bit cynical, but that’s probably because I’m so busy making everybody else’s dreams come true that I never have any time for my own. Well, at least, until you came along. You big hunk of beef! (smacks WALDO on the ass)
WALDO: Ah babe you’re the best. You’re like Peanut butter and Jelly, lochs and bagels, arroz con habichulas, dim and sum.
TONYA: After the last guy I dated, I really wasn’t expecting anything to happen between us when we first met. But then BAM! So I told my ex that I now have a real tough guy in my life now.
WALDO: I hope he was able to take the hint!
TONYA: Not really…He’s not too bright. But it sure would be nice if only I had an irresponsible jerk who really likes to threaten people and beat them up pay him a visit and take his fat wallet afterward…
(TONYA looks pointedly at WALDO)
WALDO: Yeah, I’d want to meet that guy…I like his style.
TONYA: (Realizes WALDO’s not taking the hint and changes the subject) NEVER Mind! Well I guess it’s time to get back to work. I just Hope your boss realizes that I’ll do my job but between you and me she’d better not expect me to be thrilled for the happy couple.
WALDO: SHHHH! Babe! Is that really something you want Ms. Silva to hear? You haven’t seen her angry and you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.
TONYA: You’re right honey. But you too should be very careful. (Pointing at the both of them) This could all blow up in your face.

GROOM –  (COREY NIXON) & MOBSTER DAUGHTER – (KATIE SILVA) dialogue. 

Before FATHER MARIO can say anything the door to the church opens and KATIE and COREY enter the room.
COREY: Sorry we’re late; it’s been a crazy night.
KATIE: If you only knew what the people at the jail put us through to get Vicky released. I haven’t had to namedrop my mom so much since I was trying to get into nightclubs when I was in college.
COREY: If you had never done that then we’d have never met!
KATIE: Sweetie, you should probably never mention that in front of my mom. Remember, on that front less is more!
(WALDO and ALICE step back onto the stage, ALICE puts down an empty coffee cup)
WALDO: I hope you liked the coffee, boss.
ALICE: (gives WALDO a kiss on the cheek) Excellenté, Black Jack!
KATIE: Mom, we made it!
(ALICE and KATIE run up and hug each other)
ALICE: I was hoping you’d make it; we have to be ready for your special day.
KATIE: All the work you’ve put into making this happen, you’ve made me so happy!
ALICE: That is what it’s all about; you deserve nothing but happiness. I would like to think that the man you’re marrying would do the same thing. (Shoots a pointed look at Corey)
COREY: You know I have nothing but your daughter’s best interests at heart; we’ve had this talk before!
ALICE: We’re going to keep having this talk until I’m convinced your worthy of marrying my daughter. Which I still have my doubts about.
COREY: You are an angry, angry woman aren’t you?

PRIEST – (FATHER MARIO) dialogue. 

ALICE: That woman is going to bankrupt me, I may have to go back to counterfeiting hundred dollar bills just to pay for this wedding!
FATHER MARIO: Let’s not worry about the cost, instead focus on making your daughter happy on her special day. That is what’s going to stand out most of all.
ALICE: You are only saying that because you’re not the one footing the bill for the wedding.
FATHER MARIO: That is correct but I find it necessary to find the positives in this type of situation.
ALICE: I know you are. Father, TONYA is right about having to deal with that boy. He’s as dense as a London fog!
FATHER MARIO: What exactly do you mean “as dense as a London fog?”
ALICE: Fine, if you didn’t get what I meant by that then maybe this will help! That boy is a few clowns short of a circus. He has an intellect rivaled only by garden tools. His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels. He’s proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. In other words, the man of my daughter’s dreams, the one she’s going to marry, is an idiot!
FATHER MARIO: I understand what you’re saying but that’s enough complaining! You’re paying me an insane amount of money to perform this ceremony and God help me I’m going to do it even if it’s the last thing I do!
ALICE: Father!
FATHER MARIO: I meant that in the good way!
WALDO: Tell me, Father, have you thought about some anger management classes?
FATHER MARIO: I do not need anger management classes; I think I need the soothing waves of the Pacific Ocean tickling my toes as I lie on the beach at Bora Bora. However, for those who do need anger management I recommend ordering Father Mario’s Casting Out the Angry Spirits available in both hardcover and audio formats.
ALICE: Is that available on Amazon?
FATHER MARIO: Not yet but it is available from all good Christian bookstores.
WALDO: You may need to get that for the maid of honor, it can’t hurt.
FATHER MARIO: You are absolutely right she could use some of that herself! And speaking of books I need to find my phone. I still need to call my publicist.

DETECTIVE SISTER – (TARA BRIGHT) dialogue. 

ALICE: The police would show up at my daughter’s rehearsal! Here I am just trying to enjoy a pleasant evening with my family getting ready for my little girl’s wedding when the police just have to show up. Could this be any more of a stereotype? Don’t even try to tell me that there ain’t no profiling going on here!
TARA: Well, thank you for your insight. Now could you please zip it and let me start sorting this out!
FATHER MARIO: Am I safe to assume that we will not be having an extra dessert tonight.
TARA: Sorry, Father, but you can consider the reservations for tonight cancelled.
WALDO: I have got to remember that line for future use!
TARA: Well, if it isn’t Mr. Browning. (Notices his glare at hearing the name) Right now you may want to watch what you say as anything you say can and will be used against you. In fact, I may just very well have my prime suspect!
WALDO: Your logic is making a leap most stunt drivers would be afraid of!
TARA: Don’t make me arrest you, Mr. Browning! I’m trying to solve my sister’s murder right now. And I am pretty sure you don’t want me to sink to your level.
FATHER MARIO: Well, Ms. Bright. If it’s a murderer you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.
TARA: (Ignoring Father Mario) So tell me Mr. Browning, is there any reason why I shouldn’t think you’re my prime suspect?
WALDO: Well, yeah; with someone of my reputation it could be easy to frame me for a crime. Me and circumstantial evidence ain’t exactly friends. Hell with my reputation I can probably be framed easier than the Mona Lisa!
TARA: So I’ve gathered but if you look at your history you make a convincing case for being my prime suspect. After all, your affinity for using a black jack to beat people up is legendary.

OFFICER:WALDO: Ms. Silva, this officer says he is here to investigate a report of a murder.
TARA: Well, I already have this investigation under control. I don’t know why they would send another officer.
OFFICER: Well, to tell the truth, I’m surprised to find you here. I left the station immediately after getting the call that a murder had been committed here.
TARA: Oh yes. I heard the call go out over the radio. Since I was close and I knew my sister was here I came straight over, so you can go back to the station. I can handle this.
Officer: Radio? Ok, well, I’m sorry, but I’m under orders from my captain to investigate and that’s what I’m going to do. Now where is the body and who is the victim?
FATHER MARIO: The victim, officer, is Ms. Silva’s wedding planner and her body is in my office.
OFFICER: And the Victim’s name?
WALDO: (In a broken voice) Her name was Tanya Bright.
OFFICER: I’m sorry! Could someone show me where the body is?

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